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1. RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS OR SIMPLE GIFTS OF LOVE ARE GREAT FOR OUR MARRIAGES

*RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS OR SIMPLE GIFTS OF LOVE ARE GREAT FOR OUR MARRIAGES*

Small, consistent acts of love and kindness may seem minor on their own, but over time they become powerful proof of deep devotion and genuine care. As Dr. Ronn Elmore wisely said, these everyday gestures—accumulated over the years—speak volumes about true love. One important lesson we’ve come to understand is that value isn’t measured by size or cost. Big isn’t always better, and small doesn’t mean unimportant. Just as God used a young boy’s humble meal to feed thousands, some of the most treasured gifts in life are simple and heartfelt, not expensive.

Thoughtful gestures—like a foot rub after a long, tiring day, a back massage to ease sore muscles, or a refreshing glass of water brought without being asked—can mean more than grand gestures. They’re quiet but powerful ways to say “I see you” and “I care.” Even sharing a moment of beauty—like watching a sunrise or sunset together—is an expression of love. It’s about pausing to connect, appreciate, and make your spouse feel seen, valued, and cherished in the ordinary rhythms of life.

Small and inexpensive acts, when rooted in love, can hold incredible value. Simple gestures from a spouse—no matter how small—can touch our hearts deeply when done with thoughtfulness. A single wildflower or a favorite snack picked up on a whim can sometimes mean more than lavish gifts. It’s the love behind the gesture and the fact that our spouse paused in their day to think of us that makes these moments so meaningful. These little acts are like love notes wrapped in kindness, quietly nourishing the heart.

As Scott Kedersha rightly points out, most marriages are shaped not by big, dramatic decisions but by the steady rhythm of small, everyday actions. Pastor Paul David Tripp echoes this truth by reminding us that the health of a marriage is built in thousands of little moments. It’s in these daily routines, thoughtful habits, and simple kindnesses that a marriage grows stronger. The ordinary, when done with intention and love, becomes the foundation of an extraordinary relationship.

*Small Gestures*

In his book *An Outrageous Commitment… The 48 Vows of an Indestructible Marriage*, Dr. Ronn Elmore emphasizes the deep value of simple, everyday expressions of love. He reminds couples that it's often the small, easily overlooked acts of kindness that carry the most meaning—especially in long-term marriages. These moments of quiet, consistent selflessness help bridge emotional distance and create lasting connection. While grand gestures declare, “I care about you,” it’s the small, spontaneous acts—a gentle touch, a kind word, a warm smile, or helping out unasked—that powerfully communicate, “You matter to me.” These seemingly minor acts are often the most heartfelt and enduring.

Unlike big displays of love that may require special effort or planning, small gestures simply ask us to pause and embrace the everyday chances we’re given to show love. They’re about choosing tenderness in the middle of the ordinary. Dr. Elmore urges us not to rush past these moments. Instead of letting busyness take over, listen to the quieter impulse to be kind. Choosing to act on these little nudges can make all the difference in a strong, lasting marriage.

*Bless with Small Offerings*

As you journey through life together, it’s easy to take the little things for granted. Yet, it’s those small, thoughtful acts that can make the biggest difference in a relationship. Staying committed to regularly offering these simple gestures is essential—without them, your partner may be left emotionally starved. Make it a habit to bless each other with small acts of kindness, and you’ll begin to see beautiful changes unfold. The more you give, the more attuned you become to noticing and valuing those same gestures when they’re given back to you. Over time, you and your spouse will enjoy the joyful challenge of discovering new ways to show love, until these meaningful moments become second nature in your relationship.

*And Have Fun Doing It! *

As Kaida Hollister points out, even the simplest actions—like holding hands while walking or sitting side by side—can express deep affection without saying a word. Dionne Eleanor Reid adds that a gentle touch can sometimes speak louder than anything else. These small, intimate gestures can help your spouse feel loved, seen, and emotionally secure. You can make such moments even more meaningful by adding a soft squeeze or tracing gentle patterns on their hand—tiny acts that deepen connection.

Let this be a joyful commitment: never underestimate the power of small gestures in your marriage. Make it your mission to discover creative, thoughtful ways to express love regularly. While some may call them “random acts of kindness,” we see them as intentional gifts of love—sacred and meaningful. As Jesus said, even offering a simple glass of water in His name is a powerful act of love. That same principle applies to how we treat each other in marriage. No gesture is too small when done with love and intention.

So today, actively look for opportunities to bless your spouse. In doing so, not only will you nourish your marriage, but you’ll also bring joy to the heart of God. And remember—have fun with it! Let love be both intentional and joyful.

At *Giving Hope Counselling Services*, our experienced Marriage and Family Therapists are here to guide you in discovering the power of small, everyday actions that can deepen emotional intimacy and strengthen your connection as a couple. We believe that it's often the little things—kind words, gentle touches, and thoughtful gestures—that make the biggest difference in a marriage. Let us help you rekindle closeness, improve communication, and build a loving bond that grows stronger through intentional, meaningful habits.

Call/WhatsApp us at +254721240462/+254733932470 to book an online or physical counselling session. Also visit our website www.givinghope.co.ke to read more educational articles.

Peter Mugi Kuruga

Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist

Court Annexed Mediator