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1. TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO BE MENTALLY STRONG

TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO BE MENTALLY STRONG

To be mentally strong doesn’t mean pretending to be tough or hiding emotions. It also isn’t about being harsh or rebellious. Rather, mentally strong children are resilient and possess the bravery and self-assurance to grow into the best version of themselves says Amy Morin, an American Psychotherapist and bestselling author. Children who possess strong mental fortitude are better equipped to navigate life's difficulties. To help your children develop this crucial resilience, actively seek out moments to teach them how to solve problems, encourage them to think positively about themselves, help them understand their emotions, demonstrate how to bounce back from setbacks, and support their ability to be independent. It's most effective to begin with simple challenges and gradually increase the complexity.

Morin further notes that developing your child's mental strength requires dedication and a consistent approach. Through regular conversations, practicing effective ways to deal with stress, helping them see difficult situations from a different perspective, and nurturing their confidence and self-worth, you will be actively teaching them mental strength and helping them internalize these valuable skills.

Nurturing Resilient Kids

Raising children with strong mental fortitude means equipping them with the confidence and abilities to face challenges, recover from setbacks, and manage difficulties. This process involves a three-part strategy:

Emotional Regulation: Guide your kids in understanding and managing their feelings, thereby boosting their emotional intelligence.

Positive Action and Thinking: Teach them to take constructive steps and foster an optimistic outlook.

Growth Mindset: Help them cultivate the belief that their abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

There are various parenting methods, discipline approaches, and educational tools available to help children build this mental strength. The key is to customize your approach to fit your child's unique needs.

Guiding Kids Toward Mental Strength: A Parent's Handbook

One of the most effective ways to cultivate mental strength in your children is by demonstrating these very qualities in your own life. Kids often learn how to react to various situations by observing their parents. Therefore, it's essential to be aware of your own mental resilience and actively work on areas where you can improve.

Be a role model for mental strength: Show your children how to be mentally strong by openly discussing your personal goals and the steps you're taking to grow. Make self-improvement and mental strength a priority in your own life, setting an example for them to follow.

Help them confront fears: Encouraging children to avoid what scares them can hinder their ability to tolerate uncomfortable feelings. Whether it's a fear of the dark or meeting new people, guide them in facing their fears one small step at a time. By cheering them on, praising their efforts, and celebrating their courage, you help them realize they are capable of overcoming challenges and stepping outside their comfort zone (Swenson, S. et al., 2016).

Impart mental toughness skills: Use consequences as teaching moments, focusing on helping kids understand the impact of their choices and how to improve next time, rather than solely on punishment. Implement natural and logical consequences that teach vital skills like problem-solving, impulse control, and self-discipline. This approach effectively helps them make appropriate choices, even when faced with temptation, difficult circumstances, or setbacks.

Teach emotion regulation skills: When your child is upset, co-regulate their emotions by helping them manage their feelings. With consistent practice, they'll learn to regulate uncomfortable emotions independently, preventing them from becoming overly reliant on you for mood management. Children who understand and know how to deal with their emotions are better prepared for life's challenges.

Allow them to make mistakes: Teach your child that mistakes are a natural part of learning, so they don't feel ashamed or embarrassed when they get something wrong. When safe to do so, allow natural consequences to occur and discuss how to avoid repeating the same error in the future (CDCP, 2019).

Fostering Strong-Minded Abilities

Building mental strength in children also involves nurturing their confidence, independence, and self-esteem. Work with your kids to refine these aspects of their lives while promoting healthy habits that build mental strength.

Encourage healthy self-talk: It's difficult for kids to feel mentally strong when they're putting themselves down or anticipating worst-case scenarios. Teach your child to reframe negative thoughts, helping them develop a more realistic yet optimistic outlook. This can help them navigate tough times and perform at their best says the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Build strong character: Developing a robust moral compass can guide children in making healthy decisions. Intentionally model the values you wish to instill in your children and create regular opportunities for life lessons that reinforce these values. For instance, emphasize the importance of honesty and compassion over simply winning at all costs. Children who understand their values are more likely to make sound choices, even when others may disagree.

Allow for discomfort: While it's tempting to rescue a child from distress, doing so can reinforce helplessness. Let your child experience losing, allow them to feel bored, and insist they take responsibility, even when they'd rather not. With your support and guidance, these struggles can help your child build significant mental strength.

Prioritize gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful antidote to self-pity and other detrimental habits that can prevent your child from being mentally strong. Help your child appreciate the good in the world, so they can recognize reasons to be thankful even on their worst days. Gratitude can boost their mood and encourage proactive problem-solving (AAP, 2022).

Affirm personal responsibility: A crucial aspect of mental strength is accepting personal responsibility. When your child makes a mistake or misbehaves, allow for explanations but not excuses. Correct them if they blame others for their thoughts, feelings, or actions. Remind them that while they can't always control external events, they can always control their response.

At Giving Hope Counselling Services, we understand that raising healthy, resilient children is one of life's most rewarding, yet challenging, journeys. Our compassionate and experienced therapists are here to expertly guide you, offering tailored strategies and support to help your children develop strong mental fortitude, emotional intelligence, and the coping skills they need to thrive in an ever-changing world. Partner with us to empower your family and build a foundation for lifelong well-being.

Call/WhatsApp us at +254721240462/+254733932470 or email us at info@givinghope.co.ke to book a counselling session for yourselves and your children. Also visit the blog on our website www.givinghope.co.ke for similar articles on families, relationships and marriages.

References

Morin, A. (2017). 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success. United States: Harper Collins.

Swenson, S. et al. (2016). Parents' use of praise and criticism in a sample of young children seeking mental health services. Journal of Pediatric Health Care, 30(1), 49-56.

CDCP, (2019). Quick tips: six keys to using discipline and consequences. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2019.

AAP, (2020). How to Help Children Build Resilience in Uncertain Times. American Academy of Pediatrics. 2020.

AAP, (2022). How to Practice Gratitude & Improve Your Family’s Mental Health. American Academy of Pediatrics. 2022.